


Anchor

by lovelywaterbuffaloes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, aofuta - Freeform, like seriously, there's a looot of fluff in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9351830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelywaterbuffaloes/pseuds/lovelywaterbuffaloes
Summary: Aone finally met his eyes. After a moment, he breathed out through his nose in amusement, shaking his head. Futakuchi felt relief wash over him. For the first time, he wanted to listen rather than speak. Listen to Aone’s breathing, to his rare words, to blocked spikes slamming back down on the court, Aone standing tall and victorious above them.Futakuchi felt like all the air was getting knocked out of him at once.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! I wrote this for dani-the-owl on tumblr for the 2016 HQ!! Christmas Exchange I hosted! Sorry it's so late, but I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, special thanks to [serethiel-is-hufflepuffed](http://serethiel-is-hufflepuffed.tumblr.com/) for helping make this one of the best fics I've ever written c:

Futakuchi got to know Aone Takanobu slowly.

If he’s being honest, he didn’t really intend to get to know him at all. Futakuchi was naturally sociable, and was quick at making friends. However, his first week at Date Tech felt like stepping into a freezing cold lake in the middle of summer—unexpected and frustrating.

Futakuchi was the kind of person to latch onto the first thing he became comfortable with, especially in a new environment, and use it as an anchor, something to keep him grounded. A lot of the time that anchor ended up being a person. Unfortunately, no one at Date Tech seemed interested in filling that position.

Then volleyball started, and Futakuchi couldn’t remember ever being so excited for practice.

He took his time warming up to his new teammates. Connection was one of the most important things for a team to have, and he fully intended on making it. Besides Futakuchi, there were three other first years, all of whom came off as determined and strong.

Obara was cool, if not a little insecure. He could hold a conversation well, and was passionate about volleyball, like Futakuchi was. But he didn’t seem to appreciate Futakuchi’s humor, and overall, they didn’t click. Onagawa was a little more similar to him than Obara was, but still. Not the connection he was hoping for.

That’s when he noticed Aone, sitting on a bench alone.

Aone was big, to say the least. It wasn’t that surprising, considering Datekou’s volleyball slogan. In reality, he wasn’t even that much taller than Futakuchi. But Aone wasn’t just tall. He took up space, like a great white shark in a pool full of trout. Futakuchi briefly remembered seeing him during class, sitting by the window. He never spoke a word.

Futakuchi was intrigued, and found himself walking over to the bench where Aone was currently sitting.

He was even more intimidating up close, but Futakuchi wasn’t nervous. He supposed he probably should be, considering, but something about Aone felt… friendly, as stupid as that sounds. Friendly and nonthreatening, despite his giant appearance. Futakuchi held out his hand to shake, which caused Aone to stare up at him with steely brown eyes and a confused expression. _Here goes nothing._

“You’re not that scary, you know,” he blurted out.

Futakuchi mentally kicked himself because that was _not_ was he was supposed to say and _wow, nice going Kenji, you’ve definitely done it now_ —

“Really?”

Aone’s voice was deep, but surprisingly innocent, and Futakuchi realized that what he said was true. He really _wasn’t_ that scary (even if he was missing an eyebrow or two).

“Yeah,” he said. Aone didn’t say anything, and Futakuchi was about to walk away and forget this interaction even happened (please) when Aone tentatively reached up and shook his hand.

His grip was stronger than expected, and Futakuchi couldn’t keep himself from wincing in discomfort. Aone realized immediately, and loosened up considerably.

Futakuchi smiled. Their senpais were calling them over, and they had to break the handshake, but he felt… good.

 

Futakuchi sat with Aone at lunch the next day. Aone looked surprised, which was probably to be expected. Futakuchi ignored it, and after he became comfortable, he began to talk. He talked about himself, and volleyball, and what he thought of their teachers so far. Aone didn’t say much, but occasionally he’d make a face if Futakuchi brought up something like homework or difficult opponents he played against in junior high, like Kitagawa Daiichi. Anyone else might think that Aone wasn’t interested in the conversation, but Futakuchi already knew better. Just because he didn’t say much didn’t mean he wasn’t listening.

 

~~~

 

It took a few months before Aone actually started to open up to him. Futakuchi learned that Aone’s favorite food was kuri kinton, and that he liked to garden (though if he ever mentioned that to anyone, Aone would probably ignore him for months). That’s another thing he found out about Aone. When he was mad at you, he ignored you. It was sometimes difficult to discern the difference between when he was mad at you and when he was just quietly listening. Futakuchi had become a master at it, however.

One day he had accidentally insulted Aone by telling him he was like a grizzly bear. Aone apparently took this as Futakuchi calling him big and scary and, well, _mean_. That’s when he started ignoring him for the first time. It was fairly easy for Futakuchi to pick up on it, though. How couldn’t it be? Instead of waiting for Futakuchi to finish gathering his stuff, Aone would go ahead and walk to volleyball practice as soon as the bell rang. He didn’t acknowledge him when he sat down at his desk for lunch, and he didn’t pull one of those secret smiles whenever Futakuchi said something really funny. Aone had always been solitary, but this? This was different.

Futakuchi found himself staring at Aone during lunch. It’d been a week since he first started ignoring him, and Futakuchi was feeling more and more depressed. His fingers were linked together and resting on the table, and his chin was propped on top of them. Aone was looking out the window, his food untouched and his face even more expressionless than usual.

“Are you mad at me?” Futakuchi asked after a while, frowning at how stale the silence had become. Aone didn’t even look at him. Futakuchi deflated a bit, but kept on.

“I want to make it right Aone, but I can’t do that if I don’t even know what I did wrong,” he complained, his tone practically begging him to see reason. Aone still didn’t acknowledge him, and Futakuchi was about to physically nudge him when he finally spoke.

“I thought you said I wasn’t scary.”

Futakuchi blinked once, twice, three times. _What?_

“You’re not,” he said quietly. Aone continued to stare out the window, but Futakuchi could tell he was thinking deeply.

“You said,” Aone paused for a moment, “you said I was like a grizzly bear.”

Futakuchi was confused, until he thought back to a comment he made a few days ago. Aone had been trying to eat a small senbei cracker, but his hands were so big that it reminded Futakuchi of a bear, big and awkward and—

And _adorable_.

Futakuchi realized that Aone probably took this the wrong way, and he cursed himself for being so careless. Aone was self-conscious of his appearance, and Futakuchi knew that. He _knew_ that, and yet he still managed to be an idiot and blurt out like that.

He knew he had to find a way to reassure Aone without confessing that he found his best friend _adorable_ , of all things. Futakuchi scrambled for something to tell him, something that wasn’t completely stupid.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he said. “I’m sorry if it came across that way, but honestly, I didn’t. I just meant that you’re, well, really big.” _Obviously_. “And so are bears. And bears are kinda scary, yeah.” Was it even possible for him to screw this up more than he already had? “But that’s just because people are intimidated by their size and their abilities. Bears are actually friendly, if you look at them the right way. They can be dangerous when they want to be, but that doesn’t mean that they’re bad creatures. And I, uh, I kinda view you the same way, I guess.”

Aone didn’t say anything, and Futakuchi was getting desperate.

“Aone?”

Aone finally met his eyes. After a moment, he breathed out through his nose in amusement, shaking his head. Futakuchi felt relief wash over him. For the first time, he wanted to listen rather than speak. Listen to Aone’s breathing, to his rare words, to blocked spikes slamming back down on the court, Aone standing tall and victorious above them.

Futakuchi felt like all the air was getting knocked out of him at once.

 

~~~

 

It was the end of their first year, and they were in Aone’s room. Futakuchi was eating sour gummies, and Aone was reading a book about African birds.

 _What a nerd_ , Futakuchi thought. Aone’s thumb was pressed against the edge of his mouth, and he looked lost in thought. It did something funny to Futakuchi’s insides, but he blamed it on all the sugar he was consuming.  He debated throwing a sour gummy at his head when his thought process suddenly got interrupted.

“Boys! Dinner’s ready!” Aone’s mother called to them from downstairs. _Oh well_.

Aone Eshima was a beautiful woman, with platinum blonde hair and a smile that could cure diseases. Her face was chubby and already littered with wrinkles from decades of laughter, and her hands were soft in a way only old women could achieve. Aone towered over her, of course, though she wasn’t that short herself. She smiled at them as they clambered downstairs, Aone lightly pushing Futakuchi behind him so he could get food first.

“Now Boo, be nice to Kenji, he’s our guest,” she chastised, setting plates on the table. Aone flushed a deep red at the pet name, and Futakuchi had to stifle his laughter.

Then his mother returned with a big bowl of kuri kinton, and Aone had never looked more like a puppy, his eyes practically shining. Eshima chuckled. “I figured you’d be excited,” she said.

They thanked her for the meal, and sat down to eat. Aone devoured the kuri kinton like it was the first plate of food he’d eaten in weeks, yet still managed to be incredibly neat at the same time. Futakuchi realized he was smiling at him for no reason, and tore his eyes away.

This seemed to be happening more and more frequently. He would catch himself staring at Aone, he’d have a crisis for about three seconds, and then everything would go back to normal. He would forget about it. But recently, “forgetting about it” was becoming harder than he thought possible.

He looked up and found Eshima looking at him quizzically, like she was trying to solve a riddle but one vital piece of information was missing. They sat there for a few moments, Futakuchi looking confused and Eshima darting her eyes over the both of them in question.

Realization danced across her face, and she nodded slowly, looking away from him with a small, knowing smile. What was that supposed to mean?

 

It was an hour later, and Aone insisted on walking him home. The weather was cool and pleasant, and the moon was high in the night sky, hundreds of twinkling stars dangling right above their heads. Futakuchi was thankful he lived as far out into the country as he did, because the lack of light pollution allowed him to see way more stars than he might be able to in the city.

“Why are you looking up?”

Aone was staring at him, and Futakuchi felt self-conscious under his gaze. He looked away, shrugging. “It’s better to keep your head up for no reason than to spend your whole life watching the ground,” he said, which came out way more poetic than he intended. Aone was still staring him, and Futakuchi felt vulnerable, more so than he had in a long time.

“I guess that was a dumb thing to say,” he said, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Futakuchi expected them to fall into silence after that, but Aone seemed to have other ideas.

“No it wasn’t,” he said, stopping in his tracks. Futakuchi turned around. “It was… good.”

Aone’s ears were tinted pink. It wasn’t like him to stay something so touchy feely, and they both knew it. Futakuchi met his eyes, and suddenly everything was clicking into place.

Futakuchi realized two things in that moment. One, he might be a little gay. Two, Aone Takanobu was possibly the most beautiful boy he’d ever met, and he was pretty sure he was in love with him.

 

~~~

 

Futakuchi was angry. He was angry and he was _disappointed_. Fuck Seijoh, fuck Karasuno, fuck all of them. He deserved better than what he was given. Datekou deserved better than what they were given. Moniwa, Obara, Sakunami…

 _Aone_.

Futakuchi felt like he was carrying mountains on each of his shoulders and was crumbling under the weight. He imagined Koganegawa as he had hung his head in defeat, tears streaming down his cheeks like a pathetic dam finally giving out. He hated seeing him like that, even if he was a difficult bastard. He thought about the look of triumph on Oikawa Tooru’s face, the fire in his eyes, in his hands.

“It… couldn’t be prevented.”

Aone was standing behind him, still in his uniform. The uniform they’d lost in. It was hard to believe that was just a few hours ago.

Futakuchi clenched his jaw, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. Part of him wished that Aone had just gone home without him, that he wasn’t standing here, trying to get Futakuchi to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about _anything_ right now, especially the match against Aoba Johsai.

Futakuchi turned around to face him. Being around Aone now was like walking along the beach right before a tsunami. His presence was the reliable sand, his smile the cool water brushing against his feet.

_Don’t. Not now, Kenji._

Futakuchi dug his nails into his thighs to keep them from shaking. He hated it. He hated Seijoh for beating them. He hated himself for letting them lose. He hated Aone and his hands and his eyes and his smile. He hated his bird books and his fuzzy blankets and the way he constantly smelled like soil and pine needles from all those hours of gardening with his mother. He hated that he couldn’t get enough of him.

“Oh really? That’s your excuse? ‘You failed, Kenji, but it’s okay because it just _couldn’t_ have been prevented! Aoba Johsai was gonna wipe the floor with your team no matter what, especially since Moniwa left! Especially since you became captain!’”

Aone looked startled.

“Is that…?” he trailed off.

Futakuchi started laughing, but there was no humor in it. “Does it matter?! _We failed_ , Aone! _I_ failed. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. Someone’s gonna go to nationals, whether it be Seijoh or Shiratorizawa or whoever the fuck manages, and guess what? That’s not us!”

Futakuchi buried his face in his fists, feeling the knuckles bruise into his skin. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want _any_ of this.

His wrists were torn away from his face, and suddenly Aone was standing over him, his surprisingly gentle hands making Futakuchi’s skin tingle. Part of him was still livid, but above all, he was _tired_.

“I’m mad, okay? Aren’t I allowed to be? I’m allowed to be angry?” His voice was losing more and more of its edge, and his shoulders were slumped. “The third years are going to graduate knowing that their team was crushed. I failed them, Aone. All of ‘em.”

Aone was quiet, but Futakuchi didn’t have the energy to rip the words from his mouth. He sighed, and then he was pressing his forehead against Aone’s chest, his wrists still being held above his head. He heard a sharp intake of breath from Aone, but that was it. No resistance, no discomfort. Just an intake of breath, and then Aone’s hands were cradling his head, and Futakuchi’s heart was on _fire._

“You didn’t fail _me_ , Kenji,” Aone whispered, his voice all too familiar. Futakuchi didn’t know what to do with his hands, and ended up placing them on Aone’s neck to keep his balance. He could feel Aone’s breathing down his neck, and it was awkward but it _wasn’t_ , and wow, when did he become so weak?

 _Let me have this_ , Futakuchi thought. _Just for a little while._

Aone seemed to hear his thoughts, and they stayed that way for a long time, listening to the other’s breathing, feeling their heartbeats through chests and necks and wrists. It seemed like a cruel joke to Futakuchi. A game. But Aone was there, and he was warm and he was holding him close, and Futakuchi decided to drop it. There was still time for everything he wanted to say. Just… not now.

 _I love you_ , Futakuchi mouthed, wishing Aone could feel it, wishing that just maybe, he was mouthing it back.

 

After they got back to the school, Aone walked him home, despite his exhaustion and the fact it was just under 10°C. Futakuchi wanted to ask him why, but he didn’t want to risk ruining everything. Tonight had felt like a bittersweet dream, and he wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye and have to stare at the truth head on: that Aone would never feel for Futakuchi what he felt for him.

“And what a shame it was,” he whispered under his breath. The stars were bright in the sky, and Futakuchi felt a sense of déjà vu. If he didn’t feel as hopeless as he did, he might’ve laughed.

They reached his front porch, and Futakuchi’s heart seemed to wither in his chest. He didn’t want Aone to leave. He never did. But Aone was not his, and he never would be. He would go on to get married to a pretty petite housewife who loved him dearly, and they would lose touch. Futakuchi would settle in his early twenties for some girl his parents picked out, and he would be happy. But he would look at his house and his job and his wife, and he’d know that none of it was truly real.

“Aone,” Futakuchi turned around until they were face to face. He looked beautiful with the curtain of blue and black behind him, the glow of the moon making his light hair even lighter. “If you had one wish to use right this second, what would it be?”

_What am I doing?_

Aone’s lips were parted, and he looked… content. It made Futakuchi want to cry, because he knew that everything he was feeling, everything he was seeing, would all slip through his fingers, and there wasn’t anything he could do to change it.

“Me? I know what I would do,” he said, kicking a leaf off the porch absentmindedly with his foot. “It’s hard to explain, really. These things always are, aren’t they?”

What was he _doing_? He couldn’t actually _tell_ Aone. Oh but did he want to. He wanted to tell Aone everything. He wanted to confess, to get this putrid secret off his chest once and for all. And yet…

“What would you wish for, Takanobu?”

And yet he couldn’t.

The cold nipped at Futakuchi’s exposed neck, and he regretted not wearing a scarf. A strange thing to think about, considering the circumstances. Aone just stood there, lost for words. _Figures_.

“Well, goodnight, then. Thanks for—yeah,” Futakuchi said, turning around to open the door and leave everything he ever wanted standing outside, bathed in starlight and the crickets’ song.

Aone grabbed his wrist. His hand was cold, and Futakuchi was about to ask him what the big deal was. Then he was spun around, and Aone’s other hand (equally as cold) was on his neck, and Futakuchi had never been this close to a boy before. Aone looked more panicked than Futakuchi had ever seen him, his mouth opening and closing in an attempt to speak.

And then, well, then they were kissing.

Aone’s lips were chapped and rough, but his movements were soft. Futakuchi guessed that Aone had never kissed anyone before.

 _You’re one lucky boy, Kenji_.

Aone was still holding his wrist to the side, and the hand on his neck pulled him closer, one of Aone’s thumbs gently rubbing circles into his jaw and Futakuchi had never felt so _alive_.

When they broke apart, Aone’s entire face was pink, and Futakuchi was sure his was no different. They stood there staring at each other for the longest time, both being too stunned to speak.

“You _nerd_ ,” Futakuchi said finally, shaking his head. Aone looked thoroughly confused, probably because Futakuchi wasn’t pulling away in disgust like he expected. Futakuchi broke his wrist away from his grip and threw his arms around Aone’s middle, burying his face in his shoulder. It felt so similar to earlier, except this time Futakuchi was about to tear up from the sheer relief and happiness coursing through his system.

After a moment, Aone spoke up. “Is that a… yes, then?”

“I don’t know,” Futakuchi said, pulling away some to look at him, his arms still around Aone’s waist. “Did you ask me something?” Aone turned his face to the side, his cheekbones even redder than before. Futakuchi bit his lip in anticipation, hardly believing that any of this was actually happening.

“Kenji, I—” he took a deep breath. “You’re an idiot,” Aone said instead, and leaned down until their foreheads were touching. Not exactly what Futakuchi was expecting, but it worked all the same.

“This is, uh, romantic, right?” Aone asked in a small voice, and Futakuchi giggled. His eyes were burning and he prayed Aone couldn’t tell, but if he did, he didn’t mention it.

“Yes, Boo, this is romantic,” he said softly, smirking when Aone rolled his eyes at the pet name.

Both of Aone’s hands were on his neck now. Futakuchi sent him the most genuine smile he had, and waited patiently. Aone closed his eyes.

“You’re an idiot, and I… love, that. About you. As well as many other things. And—and can you please stop making weird faces?”

Futakuchi cut him off with another kiss. “Not a chance,” he said, and Aone should’ve expected that answer, to be honest.

“My mother will be excited when we tell her about… this. She has been awaiting it for some time, now,” Aone said, and Futakuchi laughed.

“Yeah? Me too.”

Aone seemed to like that answer.

Futakuchi got to know Aone Takanobu slowly. It was captivating and funny and sometimes full of static, but more than anything, it was _good_ , and it was his anchor.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did! If so, I always appreciate kudos and comments. Thank you so much <3


End file.
